9 years, 8 days

I’ve worked here for more than 9 years.

I have less than 8 days left.

So much to say and only my body speaks.

<big breaths>

Mom is trying to be brave, just like you.

-Mom

Walk with Me

I want you with me.

Walk with me into the dark.

And into the light.

Transplant

I’m not experienced, seasoned or quite frankly sturdy in this moment of my life.

I’m not here to proselytize or advocate for changes in your life.

I’m sharing my experience today, no more, no less.

I’m excited and scared. I’m in the process of transplanting myself into my own, new way of living and presenting in the world.

—

Transplant shock likely describes my most current state. You know … when your plant has outgrown one pot and now needs to be moved to another or began inside as a seedling and now needs to make the journey outdoors. Transplant shock while necessary for survival and growth, is the stress plants experience when moved to a new environment.

How to treat transplant shock.

• Water

• Protect

• Regulate

• Reduce further stress

Need to Find

There’s something there.

I need to find it.

- inner voice

Not Alone

I am not alone.

Modern living has left me longing.

Connection, community, conversations…

I want to call you. I want to covet your friendship. I want to know your struggles and carry them with you. I want to stand next to you and with you.

I miss you. Your neighbor.

The Dark

I love the dark.

I appreciate the dark in its effort to balance the light. To remove all visual stimulation from my overscheduled and overloaded day. The light, masculine in nature, is seen as energizing. The dark, feminine in nature, is restorative.

Restoration I seek.

When it’s dark and quiet and my body is at rest. Sacred time and sacred space.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.